I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
