Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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