He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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