I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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