I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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