i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Congratulations! We have a period
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