he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
