i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
