Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
