hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
