Kareoke will never be a sober sport
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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