all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
