i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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