did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Its about making memories worth repressing
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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