And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
