What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
