You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
