If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
