I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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