Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize