Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
