Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i don't like sucking hair
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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