Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
