her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the condom got lost in my hair
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
why is half of my head shaved?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize