When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
