I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
