don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
