Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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