I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
