Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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