I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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