im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize