is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I am one with the molecules
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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