Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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