umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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