she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
