am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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