Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
