Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
