Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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