I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize