All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
