I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
