Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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