I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
