if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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