My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
