**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
