It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
