Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
