dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
