I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
