I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
