i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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