Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
