Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
