im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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