I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
