It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
