I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I didn't notice because vodka
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
