if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Randomize
