nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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