Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
