i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
