Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
